MISSING: Mavsluvr (his last picture)

[mavsluvr]

UPDATE

As I posted on the main forum, I’ll be doing recaps on another site for a while. To everyone who has had the patience to make it through this mega-discussion, I am going to try to put a bow on it now.

THOUGHTS ON TAKING A BREAK

This whole controversy has left me thinking that it might have been better overall if I had gone out and raised more hell and taken the incoming over it when I was younger. The role of “accused troublemaker” is not one I have much experience with, and I haven’t been as adept at it as maybe I should have.  Hopefully, if it ever comes up again (and I hope it doesn’t!), I’ll be a little more resilient. 

But, for now, I have to do the best I can. I still like writing about the Mavs, and I realize certain changes have taken place on the forum recently. But every time I think about posting, and ponder all the ongoing disputatiousness, I am suddenly awash in a sea of uncomfortable emotions — bewilderment, guilt, questions about why I didn’t see all this coming, confusion, irritation, discouragement, apprehension, fear of offending more people without quite knowing how or why, weariness, and more. And then I have a strong urge to go clean out the garage. Or take out the trash. Anything but posting.

I am not saying any of the above is anyone’s fault, or even that’s it’s wholly justifiable. But it’s real. Many of you have suggested (in a nice way) that I shouldn’t be such a snowflake, and there is some logic in that, but I can’t help it.

Accordingly, I think I should continue to self-exile for a bit. This way, anyone who wants to read the recaps still can, and I won’t be in everyone else’s face every day.

GOALS FOR THE SABBATICAL

I don’t want to leave without mentioning how amazing most of the responses in this thread have been — so many very thoughtful and beautifully stated observations. This is probably more constructive criticism than I have received in the last ten years! I will continue to reflect on the sentiments expressed. 

In that regard, here are a few areas where I hope to use this time to try to be better.

— In the past, I have urged people not to let their hearts be troubled by online disputes with people they didn’t even know. I meant well at the time, but now it seems smug. In the future, I will try to remember that wounds delivered over the internet can sting as much as anything similar in “real life,” and be more sensitive. 

— Correspondingly, I have been pretty free with the use of humor and irony in posting, never thinking that someone might take some mild internet ribbing seriously enough to be affected by it. In the future, I will try to think more carefully about using sarcasm and other potentially biting forms of humor, especially with people who don’t enjoy kidding around. It won’t be as much fun, but at least I might avoid leaving hurt feelings in my wake.  

— I have had a tendency when posting responses to fly through them, popping off replies without even noticing whom I am responding to. This had never struck me as anything but harmless. In future, I will try harder to slow down, be aware of whom I am talking to, and adjust accordingly, just as I would do if I were talking with someone in person.

I am sure I will think of other areas for betterment, as I further contemplate the situation.

MODERATORS/BOARD

There seems to be some lingering question about whether the authorities around here actually or constructively kicked me out. They did not. Apart from Kamm’s initial post, no one threatened me with a ban or asked me to voluntarily leave. (I have to admit I thought moving this thread to the troll forum might be a precursor to that, but I have since discovered that being sent to the cave is somewhat of a badge of honor, lol.) 

I appreciate the Poobahs’ desire not to be heavy-handed, but I have probably brought them way more grief than they ever thought they signed up for, so I’ma take it upon myself to give them a well-deserved break.  While we never reached agreement about certain things, my regard for them did not waver. 

This board, imho, is tops in the fan forum space. That is no accident. Everyone plays a part, day by day, in maintaining the high-quality culture. The price of excellence is eternal vigilance, and I commend the posters here on their commitment to that. 

GOING FORWARD

If anyone who enjoyed my recaps is still out there, you can find the new ones at Lone Mavs Fan Forum until further notice. Of course, I am not planning on saying anything offensive in them; but, if you detect me wandering off the straight and narrow, I’ll count on you to help keep me in line. Tbh, the prospect of just talking basketball, without feeling like I have to be constantly on high alert for which personalities might possibly be triggered by this or that phraseology, feels to me like a comfy chair, a fire, and a glass of wine on a cold, rainy day. 

I’ll probably be back someday, whenever this tempest has faded into the mists of memory. I can imagine the old-timers sitting around the campfire, somewhere ages and ages hence, saying, “Remember that time Kammrath and mavsluvr both took their marbles and went home? What was all that about, anyway?"

Meanwhile, I will look forward to recapping and discussing the games with whoever might be interested.