01-11-2022, 06:39 PM
(01-11-2022, 05:56 PM)Kammrath Wrote: Yes, absolutely, we will misunderstand each other. No question that will happen. And when it does we need to listen to each other and allow ourselves to be corrected in our misunderstandings.
But again, this was a pattern that literally went back months. My opinions (especially on Luka) were being repeatedly portrayed in a false way. I had much, much more patience the first, second, third, etc. times. But I eventually got exhausted and asked to be left alone, because no matter how hard I tried to explain myself, I was met with what felt to me like condescension and a refusal to listen to my actual nuanced stance. There is a LOT more I could say about the specific dynamics, but I do not believe it would be helpful.
When it happens repeated times, the misunderstandings, I think I can definitely visualize for me this disseapointment and a sensation of not being understood and heard continuously. I can understand the exhaustion at this point. Most likely it's a misunderstanding (before, as well as now) from both sides, as it can be really difficult to understand each others views, especially when these views are of opposing nature. The best in that case are two options, either to not reply further, or reply and continue the debate in an opinion-based manner. Asking the other part not to reply further is a difficult and a risky strategy, as it can be very hard to remember who one replies to. I believe ML also wrote that, and I also am of the similar nature in fact, as most of the times when I reply I actually reply on posts/opinions and don't even know/look up who I am replying to (not always, but for large part). I read an opinion and press reply without even looking up the name of the poster. If someone asked me not to reply in future, I would have most likely replied at some point of time, as this is behaviour of being focused on opinions and not looking up the names, I most likely never can change.
The best is probably not to reply at all if one doesn't want a continuation of a debate and it will quickly fade away. Its the strategy I use when I can see that a conversation is not leading anywhere at this moment. Its frustrating for me not to get the last word however.
It boiled over for you in that post 3. This is fine and it can happen for everyone, its part of basketball. It also boils over for Luka in almost every game, and its not good, and I always try to picture that and understand what must be going on in his mind when he confronts the refs and try to see it from a positive standpoint. It is most likely beneficial to admit that its not acceptable to transition posts over in personal way and the other part will most likely admit and respect that. I am trying to put my self in MLs position after post 3, and it certainly must have been bad to read that. I do also try to position myself in your place after post 2 if that disagreement of opinion happened many times before, and I do understand the frustration of no progress in understanding.
The thing is that the Mavs needs both of you, hopefully this will all end well. Many of these opposing views is also a large part of basketball teams and players and coaches - 99.99% stuff my guess is we never hear about and is dealt internally. Its the same thing we experience here. Key is keep continuing the debate and trying understand each other. And if too much and it leads nowhere in understanding, taking some breaks from replying, even if the other replies and letting it fade away. Keep up the great work Kamm!